We have lived, died, fallen down, & risen up. And during those times it was a timeless line...

                                        Classmates by Chance, Brothers by Choice.

No one ever got left behind. What would make this any different?

    Earlier this evening, I was lucky to be in a dinner with the different people that make up the Ateneo de Manila's Integrated Non-Academic Formation programs. For starters, INAF programs are the yearly "additional" subjects that every student in the Loyola Schools go through -- InTACT, NSTP+, JEEP and Pabaon. VP Cuyegkeng said in her closing remarks that together with Mr. Rene San Andres, they built these programs systematically to form the Atenean that is not only academically excellent and competitive in nature, but also spiritually mature and aware of the inequality and injustice that is happening in his/her community.

    Leadership is one of the cornerstones of these programs. At a glance, it would seem weird to think that leadership is incorporated into the four programs, but when you think about it, leadership doesn't necessarily mean our traditional view of being a leader -- one who's mighty, charismatic, persuasive or all the other adjectives you want to use. The way I see it, ADSA, OSCI, CMO, LSGO, APO, the Philosophy department, and the Theology department want us to trigger this LEADER within us. It is in these programs that we learn leadership through SERVICE. Correct me if I'm wrong, but servant-leadership has been a trait that the Jesuits always want their students to absorb. And from someone who has been with the Ateneo for 8 years now, I can honestly say that this holds true until today.

    Maaari kong sabihin na sawang-sawa na ako sa mga exposure trip, sa mga Christian service programs, sa mga Tulong Dunong, sa mga InTACT, sa mga NSTP.. pero kahit ikaila ko ang kahalagahan nito sa aking sarili, hindi ko kayang itago ang katotohanan na malaking parte ng mga ito ang humubog sa aking pagkatao.

(sorry for the suddent shift in language.. this is my blog anyway hehe)

    Getting to know the people behind the INAF programs, having dinner with them, joking around with them, even dancing with them, has given me a certain sense of joy this evening. However, I also feel a certain kind of sadness because I know that many of my co-students are not appreciative of the people behind InTACT, NSTP+, JEEP or Pabaon. Laging "hassle" ang mga programs na 'to at "hindi nakakatulong magpataas ng QPI." Kung minsan pati formators [I love that term, every teacher should be called that way] nadadamay, kesyo maraming requirements, kesyo Filipino ang ginagamit sa NSTP handbook. Hanggang doon na lang ba matatapos ang pagtingin natin?

        Contrary to what almost everyone else is saying, I am looking forward to the start of the second half of this school year. I know this semester will be challenging because I'll be taking up courses that are totally new to me and at the same time I'll be trying to get a familiar monkey off my back.

    My 1st semester had been up and down, to say the least. There were times wherein I was enthusiastic in studying for every subject, there were times wherein I only exerted effort in some, and there were times wherein I didn't like studying for anything. Sometimes, gas just runs out, and oil price hikes happen. Good thing there are rollbacks.. just enough to get me through my daily destinations. Nonetheless, I had some very interesting subjects and teachers last sem.

    Sociology & Anthropology 21 was probably the class I cut the most, mainly because it was my earliest. This was a fun class, and highlight would have to be the Nueva Ecija trip. Initially, I didn't like Mr. Apolonio's teaching style because he was too perky and he always moved! As in all over the place! Minsan aakyat ng ledge ng blackboard, minsan tutungtong sa upuan.. Basta nakakapagod siya panoorin. It didn't help that I'm the type who enjoys sit-down-kwentuhan type of teachers. But eventually, i understood that this was his way of proving a point to his class. I even wrote a 6-page paper about him. (hehe by any chance mabasa niyo ito, Sir, sorry hindi ko ipinaalam sa inyo kung pwede ko kayo isulat sa isa kong subject)

    Eco 102 was the worst subject I had last semester, and almost everyone knew that. Ginapang ko talaga 'yung 3rd long test para makapasa ako. In the end, I got a C for my final grade, which is the result of all my laziness. Don't get me wrong, I find the course interesting WHEN I READ THE BOOK. But when I'm in class, that's a different story. My grade doesn't reflect what I learned in this class. I'm okay with that.

    My Psy 101 was a joy to be in.. Probably because I was with people I already knew and teacher Pia was as fun and as motherly as they come. I suddenly remember load rev-ing for this class because the original Psy 101 class that I was given had a conflict with my Educational Psych sched. Reflection papers helped, too. I think it made a lot of difference with regard to processing new (and old) learnings, insights, and experiences.

    Speaking of EdPsych, this was my first major subject in college, and I'm happy that I did well in it. Sometimes it was a struggle to wake up and go to this class, but I pulled it through because Mrs. (soon to be Dr.?) Nicdao inspired me to be a formator of minds and hearts. The final 4 papers were a killer, and it required a lot of my patience because sometimes I had a hard time writing down some facts and thoughts. But overall, I can honestly say I loved being in this class.

    Asian History was fun at first, having group presentations and class productions, but eventually all the memorizing and Chinese names took its toll on me. Long tests were open notes, but it wouldn't matter because if you kept looking at them, you won't finish the test on time. Ms. Gotao is a genius and quite deceiving, because she projects herself as a super friendly and "easy" instructor. She was worth my sem, even though I was really silent in this class.

    Fil 14!!!! Just knowing that that was my last Filipino subject for the rest of my life makes me sad. I loved Filipino subjects since grade school.. And since first grade, next semester will be the first time I won't be encountering papers that I won't be thinking about whether or not my "ng" and "nang" were used correctly. And how can I forget my stint in Sagala ng mga Sikat? I was pretty, noh? Haha! And before I forget, naging teacher ko si Mr. Coroza. Marami akong natutunan sa kanya, kahit mahirap makakuha ng grade. Putol, idol!

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    Whew! That was long.. Pagod ka na magbasa? E 'di wag mo ituloy! Mahaba pa 'to! Hahahaha!

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    Just for the sake of it, here's my schedule.

Monday/Wednesday
7-8am: PE 107 section AA (Running) -- Vinarao [Yey chums kami!!]

11:30-12:30pm: Ma 12 section C (Modern Math II) -- Tuason [A ghost from the past; the subject, not the teacher]

12:30-1:30pm: PoS 100 section J (Politics and Governance) -- Berse [Looking forward to this class.. And I'm thinking about minoring under this department, but that's for another blog entry]

1:30-2:30pm: Sci 10 section CC (Science and Society) -- Dr. Marquez [Got him as my teacher because of the stories I heard about his work in Tulong Dunong]


Tuesday
1:30-3pm: Th 121 section X (Introduction to Doing a Catholic Theology) -- Roncal
               
3-4:30pm: DS 101 section A (Perspectives in Development I) -- de la Cruz [Looking forward to this also. This is my major subject for this sem. And looks like I'll be seeing Sir Leland a lot this semester for the ACP]


Thursday
1:30-3pm: Th 121

3-4:30pm: DS 101
            
4:30-7:30pm: IS 163.4 section A (Contemporary Issues: Dynamics of Grief and Loss in a Family Context) -- Guballa [I'm still trying to load rev out of this class though because I want to get into a non-fiction writing class instead]


Friday
11:30-12:30pm: Ma 12
            
12:30-1:30: PoS 100
            
1:30-2:30 - Sci 10

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    My semestral break was, to say the least, inexistent. Or so I thought. Right after the last day of school, I headed off to Antipolo for the 3-day Sanggunian evaluation seminar and 2nd semester planning. A lot of people had fever or some other form of sickness.. Post-finals week stress probably kicked in. It was the first time also that I was attacked by a really bad nosebleed. Haha. Two days after that, I was luckily selected to participate in ACUCA, or the Association of Christian Universities and Colleges in Asia. In there I got to meet other student leaders from Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, Thailand, Taiwan, and the Philippines. I learned new things, new forms of culture, and I established some friendships there. Five days after ACUCA, I was headed to Naga City for the 25th Buklod Atenista Leaders' Summit, a 5-day, 4-night gathering of the five Ateneo schools (in the college level). You can look at my mini-photo blog for more info.

    Two days after Buklod, I celebrated my 19th birthday, which was a testimony of how I am loved and deeply cared for by my family and other people. I didn't even arrange my celebration (kasi nga wala ako sa Maynila), but everything was great. The right people were there. And it was the first time I got a surprise for my birthday.. Two times at that. That alone makes me eternally grateful.

    Again, two days after my birthday, I went to a 4-day trip Hong Kong with my mom and sister. Sometimes, it was annoying to be with them because majority of the things I liked to do didn't match what they wanted to do. And it wasn't a plus that prices there were unreasonable (or sadyang kuripot lamang ako.... HINDE, UNREASONABLE PRESYO NILA!). I didn't get to enjoy the trip much, but I loved Disneyland!!!!!

    After the HK trip, it was the last 5 days of my semestral break. To sum it all up, the last 5 days were my favorite. Perfectly elastic, perfectly inelastic... oops EC 102 terms.

    This semester will be crazy. I think I like crazy. I like adrenaline rush.

    And I am looking forward to summer. States!!!!!! (for two reasons HEHE).

Ang dami kong pinagsasasabi. In three hours I should be waking up and getting ready for my RUNNING class. HAHA HEALTHY LIVING AKO THIS SEM. (hindi ako nag-promise, basta gagawin ko na lang!)

is coming back.

Tell me this will only last for a day or two. But what good would it do to keep it to myself? Being branded as selfish would be the last thing I'd want to hear.. but I'm tired......

I married the madness that came along with it, so who am I to complain, right?

why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts?

Hindi ako ito. - Ako

Panaginip. Marami ang nakararanas managinip araw-araw. Maraming nagsasabing hindi sila nakararanas nito, na sinasalungat naman ng mga dalubhasa… nananaginip tayo! Araw-araw-araw-araw pa nga, e. Baka hindi mo lang naaalala, pero oo, nananaginip daw tayong lahat. May iba naman, sira ang ulo. Sinasabi ang panaginip daw ay bunga ng repressed feelings. ‘Tang ina. DOM siya. Pangalan niya Sigmund.

Hindi ko gaanong trip ‘yong mga tao sa school. Feeling. Kala mo kung sinong magagaling, wala namang laman ang kokote. Oo, dahil sinabi ko ‘to, mayabang na ako. Pero. Eh. Feeling. Isang tao lang nakakasundo ko talaga. Si Gelo. Okay siya. Okay siyang kausap. Hindi mayabang kahit matalino. Hindi mayabang kahit may pwedeng ipagyabang. Sa bagay, bakit nga naman siya magyayabang, e, hindi rin naman siya gaanong napapansin ng mga tao sa school. Estudyante lang siya. Chemistry major. Nasa laboratory madalas, kung anu-anong magic ang ginagawa. ‘Yon lang. Naikahon na siya ro’n ng mga tao. Nakalulungkot. Pero magaling ‘tong si Gelo, hindi lang nakikita ng karamihan. Hindi niya hangad sumikat sa school, okay na sa kanyang alam niyang ginagawa niya ‘yong tama.

Hindi ako takot mamatay. Mas takot akong mawala ‘yong mga tao sa paligid ko. Isipin ko pa lang, naiihi na ‘ko. Baka hindi ko kayanin. E si boss chief kaya, ano iniisip tungkol sa kamatayan? Sa dinadami-dami ng babae niya, ‘di ko na alam kung may STD na siya (pero baka mayro’n). BIR commissioner, kaka-promote lang sa kanya. Siguradong kurakot to the next level na naman si bossing. Takot kaya siya? ‘Yong mga katoto kaya niya? Takot kaya silang mamatay? Ha, sigurado akong oo. Kung magkaro’n lang sila ng pagkakataon, gugustuhin nilang mabuhay forever. Mga walang hiya sila. Mga hayop. Mali.

Minsan hindi ko alam kung bakit ang hilig kong matulog. Matagal-tagal naman akong nakatutulog, pero inaantok pa rin ako. Batugan kaya ako? Ano nga ba ibig sabihin ng batugan? Pa-cool ako, e, ginagamit ko ‘yong word na ‘yon na hindi ko alam meaning. ‘Sus ewan, basta minsan, masarap matulog. Nakakapikon lang na may gumigising sa ‘yo. Ay, actually okay lang may gumigising sa ‘yo, kung nagpagising ka talaga!!!! Pero nakakainis kapag against your will ba. Kapikon. Minsan gusto mo na sapakin ‘yong gumising sa ‘yo. Pero ‘di ko alam, no’ng ginising mo ‘ko, nakita ko ‘yung panaginip ko.

Humimlay nang mahimbing at sumamo sa akin. You’ll be safe here. - Rivermaya